It wasn't me!

I did not leave this little Eskimo sleeping in the car for 20 minutes....

I did not spend the whole 20 minutes laughing on the phone with this spunky gal! 

I did not swear during the conversation and I definitely DID NOT tell her that I wasn't going to make it till L's dad came home. I would never say such a thing.

I do not have this much laundry to fold......

and

I WILL NOT spend all of nap time drinking coffee and reading InStyle

Ok, yes I did, do and will but it's Friday!
Geesh, lay off.

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If you are my mother or husband please forget you ever read this. Go back to thinking of me in a darling apron while I bake bread and read classic literature to my baby girl. 

Because that's what is going on over here.