See this little cutie.......

God is using her to do some major work in my heart...

well, not her specifically but motherhood in general. 

         


My heart absolutely squeezes just thinking about how badly I want to do right by her.  Everything in me wants to give her everything she could ever need.  As I have been hit with the reality that this is completely impossible, I have been slapped in the face with my own humanity.  It is a really really ugly thing to see how far you are from who you want to be....who Christ calls you to be.  Praise the Lord for daily grace.  His goodness is beyond measure. 

As ugly as my sinful brokeness is...it is painful to let it go.  Old habits die hard and selfishness has had a strong hold on my heart.  Thankfully, Christ's claim on my heart is even stronger. 

In the same way that my love runs deep for my daughter...His love runs deep for me, His daughter.  In the same way that I will continue to seek what is best for her, He will continue to give what is best for me.  Even more so actually because as deep as my love may be, it is still only human.  Christ's love however is immortal, eternal, magnificent.  It knows no end. 

I am so thankful for his gentle teaching.  What a blessing to receive his mercy and accept even the painful growing process as grace.  Who am I that he should love me enough to work in my heart...have patience with me...and continue to lead me to him despite my HUGE shortcomings.  How gracious He is to use my little blessing to grow me...rather than trials.